Juses Crust teh Saevior
Juses Crust 'is teh lord and savior of this gluten-filled world. His bestest friends are Spoderman and the crazy, deranged fundies who have a serious case of A.D.D. He lives in northwest Russia in a mountain as a hermit who eats vegetables, meat and gluten-free bread. Speaking of gluten, Juses is the king of all fundies and believes '''GLUTEN '''to be responsible for the holocaust, Satan, Hitler and the neighbor who kicked his dog, just outside your house. Juses is an anti-Disney woomeister, pointing out to 'inappropriate contents' in the most innocent of films and calling the corporation 'eeeevvuuulll evil' for 'promoting mature content' '(yup, practical quackery) to children. Juses and the fundies are firm believers in the MYTH that Walt Disney was a nazi freemason and brainwashes christian families into watching 'hellivision' that will corrupt our children. Don't trust anything Juses says; he's a fundamental extremist who despises any ''kind of entertainment for the delusional belief it is evil, and christian-woo-attacks films (even christian films) ''without even watching them. By the way, Juses also routinely attacks Taylor Swift for 'teaching little girls to be lewd and materialistic' (yes, more right-wingnut quackery) and sued her '''LIVE ON INFOWARS '''for singing 'chandelier'. Crust's Constroversial Church Juses has read books like '''Let's Go Fundie Winning '''and '''Let's Brainwash More Converts '''about how to lure people into your church and convert them. Crust's church has stirred up a slew of issues regarding 'holiness', like his church being followed and used in a cult-like manner by deranged old fundamentalists or the 'un-believers' molesting the children, and shoving bleach up the kids butts for misbehaving and stuff like that, and left his church shut down and Crust arrested by the police. During his time in jail, Crust would write a book of everlasting-horror called 'Juses is Saevior' about rentlessy bashing the music and entertainment industry as 'satanic, evil, lewd, materialistic and indoctrinating children', plenty of anti-Harry-Potter bullcrap, horrifying articles Crust wrote about abortion being 'murder and women doing it on purpose because they think it's good' (also using pictures of late-term abortions he found on Google Images, thus getting copyright infringement woes), and promoting the popular quack-based fear-mongering site InfoWars as a 'trusted' news source. When Crust was released and sent back to Chicago, he sold his apartment, TV and piggy bank, and after reaching Murica's east coast on Virginia, caught on a ferry boat ride to Russia. When Crust reached Moscow, he ran for his 'salvation' into the rural mountains, and settled in the littlest one. Anti-Disney Trash Juses is Saevior is also extremely (and just plain fucking stupidly) anti-Disney, claiming the corporation to be run by freemason tyrants out to 'brainwash' every child in America... with television, mentioning hilariously irrelevant things that are NOT in Disney movies, like 'sexual perversion' and 'topless women' (Disney edited the movies later to remove all the 'inappropriate content' and make it family-friendly, but Crust ruthlessly bashes Disney anyways). Crust should realize HE HIMSELF is the one who indoctrinates and scares the living daylight out of children, as he makes regular meetings with fundie-churches, kid's churches (with limits on what Crust's allowed to talk about, but still freaks out the kiddos anyways), and once in a while, a San Francisco megachurch. Maybe Crust would lift his grip off InfoWars when he discovers that Alex Jones, who is a paranoia and conspiracy-minded fundie, is a huge fan of heavy metal music. But then he would bash Alex too, because Crust falsely believes rock music and metal music (and all music, and gluten too) 'to be the sinister creation of Satan in order to indoctrinate everyone and turn dem' into toast'. Holy Crap. Juses Gets Suspended On a rainy day in 2013, Crust was cozy inside his new home (a huge mountain in rural northwest Russia) and turned on his laptop, only to discover that he and his website, "Juses is Saevior" was suspended for it had disgusted and horrified the shit out of it's users, from causing many 'followers' to hang themselves to believe in paranoid delusions about Disney and the entertainment industry, to even causing paranoid schizophrenics to move to indigenous northwest Russia (like Crust did himself). Juses somehow kept his horrifyingly awful website on the web for he supposedly 'didn't brainwash enough Disney fans or Taylor Swift fans' and to corrupt every non-fundie in America (though he shamelessly blames Disney for the 'corruption' of America's youth, which is of course FALSE). Category:Characters Category:Super Stubby Articles Category:Juses Crust Category:Fundamentalists Category:GlutenDidIt Category:Bearded People Category:Schizophrenic Paranoids Category:Haven't Shaved since Monday Category:Hee Haz Ay Beerd Category:Smelly People Category:Evil Does NOT Exist! Category:Disney is Good! Category:If God Really Bless Stuart, I've Become An Atheist Now! Category:Christians REALLY DO Shove This Stuff Up Their Ass! Category:JESUS DIED FOR YOUR DONUTS Category:Articles